Life was so peaceful at the laundry,
Life was so calm and serene.
Life was trés gay til that unlucky day
I happened to read that magazine.
Why did I read that advertisement
Where it said, "When I rumba, Jim thinks I'm sublime"?
Why, oh why, did I ever try?
I didn't have the talent, I didn't have the money,
And teacher did not have the time. Boy!
Arthur Murray taught me dancing in a hurry.
I had a week to spare;
He showed me the ground work, the walkaround work,
And told me to take it from there.
Arthur Murray then advised me not to worry,
It would come out all right.
To my way of thinkin', it came out stinkin' -
I don't know my left from my right.
The people around me can all sing, "A-one and a-two and a-three."
Any resemblance to waltzin' is just coincidental with me.
Arthur Murray taught me dancing in a hurry,
And so I take a chance.
To me it resembles the nine-day trembles,
But he guarantees it's a dance.
Turkey trot, or gavotte, don't know which, don't know what,
Jitterbug, bunny hug, long as you cut a rug,
Walk the dog, do the clog, Lindy Hop til you drop,
Ball the jack, back to back, cheek to cheek til you're weak,
You've heard of Pavlova, well, Jack, move over,
Make way for the queen of the dance.