The Real Slim Shady
Words:Unknown
Music:Unknown
Performed By:  Eminem
Copyright:Unknown
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May I have your attention please
May I have your attention please
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up
We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor, like panic, Tommy just burst in the door
And Started whoopin' her ass first and before
They ??? boys ?????? in a row ?????the furniture

It's the return of the... Arrgh!
Ah wait, no wait, Youre' kidding.
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?
...and Dr. Dre said
Nothing you idiots, Dr. Dre's dead
He's locked in my basement
????? Eminem ??????? Slim Shady
I'm sick of him
Look at him walking around grabbing his you know what
Lipping the you-know-who
Yeah, but he's so cute though
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
No worse than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes I want to get on TV and just let loose but can't
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My mama's on your lips
My mama's on your lips
And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little piss
And that's the message we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they're gonna know when in a course is
By the time they get to fourth grade they've got the Discovery Channel
Don't they? We ain't nothing but mammals
Well some of us cannibals who cut other people open like anelopes
But if we can hunt dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote
Wind away your pantyhose

Sing the chorus, and it goes:

I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady please stand up. Please stand up. Please 
      stand up.
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady please stand up. Please stand up. Please 
      stand up.

Will Smith don't gotta cus in his rap to sell records
Well I do so fuck him and fuck you too
You think I give a damn about a grammy?
Half you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win? Wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So that you guys could lie to get me here
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
?????????????? better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daily and Fred Dursk
And hear more of your??????/ Belushigate ?????? first
Little bitch put me on last on MTV
"Yeah He's cute but I think he's married to Kim, hehe"
I should download an audio on MP3
And show the world how you gave Eminem V.D.
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
All you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you

And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me, walk talk and act like me
It might just be the next best thing
But not quite me

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady please stand up. Please stand up
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady please stand up. Please stand up. Please 
      stand up.

I'm like a head-trip to listen to
'Cause I'm only giving you things you joke about with your friends inside 
         your living room,
The only difference is I've the balls to say it in front y'all
And I havn't got to be false sugar-coat it all
I just get on the mike and spit it
And whether you like to admit it
I just said it better than 90% of you rappers out there
Then you wonder helping kids eat up these albums I value at 20
'Cause at the rate I'm going when I'm 30 I'll be the only person in the 
      nursing home flirting
Kissing nurses asses when I'm jacking, I'm a jerking
But this whole bag of viagra ain't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
I could be working in burger king spitting on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck" with his windows down and his 
     system up
So will the real Shady please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up
And be proud to be out of your mind and out of control
And one more time, loud as you can. How does it go?

I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady please stand up. Please stand up. Please 
      stand up
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady please stand up. Please stand up. Please 
      stand up.
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady please stand up. Please stand up. Please 
      stand up.
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady please stand up. Please stand up. Please 
      stand up.

Haha.
I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us.
OK. Let's all stand up.

(instrumental fade out)
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