I'm Glad I'm Not Young Anymore
Words:Alan Jay Lerner
Music:Frederick Loewe
Performed By:  Maurice Chevalier (1958)
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How lovely to sit here in the shade
With none of the woes of man and maid -
I'm glad I'm not young anymore!
The rivals that don't exist at all,
The feeling you're only two feet tall -
I'm glad I'm not young anymore!

No more confusion, no "morning after" surprise,
No self delusion 
That when you're telling those lies, she isn't wise.

And even if love comes through the door,
The kind that goes on forevermore,
Forevermore is shorter than before -
Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore.

The tiny remark that tortures you,
The fear that your friends won't like her, too -
I'm glad I'm not young anymore!
The longing to end a stale affair,
Until you find out she doesn't care -
I'm glad I'm not young anymore!

(Bridge 2:)
No more frustration, no star-crossed lover am I;
No aggravation,
Just one reluctant reply, "Lady, goodbye!"

The fountain of youth is dull as paint;
Methuseluh is my patron saint.
I've never been so comfortable before,
Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young an ymore.
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